willow's silly little blog!

people fail to understand how complex of a person i am. why cant i be funny and smart at the same time why cany be a multifaceted person. yes bad things happened to me yes im a little messed up but thats ok. i just want to be understood, thats all. i want understading and love is that really to much to ask?

i dont want to seem like some poor misunderstood girl but maybe thats what i am. i fall so deeply in love with people then its like a swich flips and suddenly i cant stand them, then after its been just long enough for me to distance myself just enough for us to be only friends im back to day to head over heals. nothing but free falling in to them. my therapist say i have an "avoidant attachment style" but i dont even know whta that is. i just want to love like any normal person. but i guess there is no normal.

ok ik i havent upadtaed in like 2 months but cut me some slack ive been busy. my last of us hyper fixation has only gotten worse like its so bad idek what to do anymore. ive found one friend who likes the show and im in heaven we're in the same gym class and we just talk about tlou while we walk the trackall class and it so fire fun time. i also know theres one other girl in our grade who like tlou and she like the coolest person ever and i kinda have a big fat crush on her. i mean i dont realy wanna date her or anything i just really wanna be her friend. me and my friends call it a "plush" (plutonic crush) but ik online some people call that a squish but we think that name is realy ugly so we call it a plush. idk what it is about her its just like shes got this aura (thats a nana ref) its just smth about her that makes be wanna get to know her. also shes super obsessed with tlou sooo shes pretty much my goat. were friends and airbuds (music sharing app) andshe has super fire taste.

side note: sorry for all the parenthesis i just dont want anyoent to be confused.

guess who just fell into a new hyperfixation. oh yeah its this kid. ive beeen in like a drepressed desgusting not doing anything typa mood for the past 2ish weeks but the last of us has saved me which ik is so stupid but if you have adhd you know. like i am either in depressed and tried all the time or im so obsesssed with something i struggle to do other things. im deeeply in love with both ellie and dina and am really just living the high of the fixation. the pintrest board has been made, the playthrough has been watched, i bought the acual game, we are rlly deep into it now guys. i started the game yesterday so i havent fishinshed that yet, mainly bc ITS SO HARD i suck at it but i feel like a fake fan if i dont own the game. i also watched the the show too obvi, thats what made me get into the game in the first place the whole thing is just *chefs kiss*

guys... i took that math test i was talking about last friday (its sunday rn) and im acually done for there is no way in hell i got more then a 5 (my school uses an 8 point grading scale) which like yeah a 5 is a b- but thats the best i think i could get i probably got like 3.5. ive definatly done worse then that but its not my best moment, and before you start yapping about how i "should of studied" I DID i actually went over my notes and did the review but who cares it definitely did not work

any way i spent the whole weekend at my friends cabin and it was pretty fun tho im really not a sleepover person i dont reallly like spending more then like 8 hours with someone, so 48 was a lot. even tho their literally love of my life/hj its still pretty exhausting and also i was talking about the hinkley fire (google it) and i compared it to hiroshima and nagasaki and they DIDNT KNOW WHAT THAT IS i tried to explain that is was the two towns the us nuked but they had NEVER HEARD OF THE US DROPING ANY NUKES EVER... THEY ARE 16 YEARS OLD WEVE TAKEN ALL THE SAME HISTORY CLASSES i genuinely have know idea how they could just, not know that?? it was lowkey insane.

Im just a silly little guy with lots of love for life and love for other people but school need to clam down bc why did i have like 3 test this week and its the start semester. i think this quater started like 3 weeks ago and im already drowning in work but of course instead of doing my homework im learning how to code a website?? idrk what happening rn ok... i have a math test tomorow and i really should study but i dont wanna :(

this is acually my first entry and im really happy to have a site. i feel kind weird about that acually, i started coding like the day before yesterday so i feel like im making good progress but also this whole thing usd a base made by someone else. i was inspired by everyones sites and wanted to try it out myself, so i tried to code one from scratch then failed so i gave up and googled "neocities template"so thats how i got here. i did make a ton of changes to the template it used to really cool and gave of the vibes of madoka when she like became god but i switched it up to be a bit more my speed.